This Time Last Year...

Warning this post is very different from my usual posts. For some reason I am willing to put myself out there and be very vulnerable. It is very wordy and there are no pictures, so feel free to skip if you would like :)

Roughly one year ago was a day that Jason and I had looked forward to from the moment we found out we were going to have a baby. This was the day that we were going to be told if our lives were going to be blue or pink...get it boy or girl? (of course you get it, I think that analogy was 3rd grade level :) Anyway, I counted down the weeks, the days, and then the hours until this appointment, because this was the day that I just KNEW we would be told we were going to have a little boy and that all of my dreams about my family were going to come true. The sonographer was looking and ready to announce the sex of the baby, and then I saw it. I saw those three little black lines that mean GIRL. As soon as she confirmed this, I was devastated...I know, I know there is a precious baby growing in my belly and I am devastated to learn that I am having a girl? All of my dreams of sitting, bundled up every fall watching my son play soccer (if my dad has anything to say about it) or football and then every summer watching Jason coach his baseball disappeared. Side note...I obviously realize that these dreams can still come true with a girl, but at the time this child that I always envisioned flashed before my eyes and then disappeared. Alright, back to it...as the sonogram continued another devastating piece of info was brought to light. The baby only had a 2-vessel umbilical cord and we were going to be referred to a neonatologist for further inspection to make sure that there was nothing wrong with our baby. This day that I had looked forward to for so long had turned into a day of worst nightmares. I was nervous about the 2-vessel cord, but I was depressed/devastated/grieving the fact that I was going to have a girl. I'll say it again, what is wrong with me? What kinda person reacts this way? Jason was as supportive as he could be, but he was thrilled at the idea of a baby girl!

One week later we went to the neonatologist for a level 2 ultrasound. I was so nervous and scared that there was something wrong with my baby, but I also had a hope that maybe at this ultrasound they would tell me that I was actually having a boy, that the first sonographer was wrong. We all know the outcome of that...the sonographer was right and we were in fact having a girl (he even said at the time that he was positive it was a girl). After many measurements and testing, he said that he didn't see anything that led him to believe that there was anything wrong with the baby, but that our risk of anomalies were 50% higher than they would have been if her umbilical cord was normal. He also said that the further we got into the pregnancy, the higher the risk would become of her not growing properly and could possibly lead to a stillbirth.

I don't know if I was naive or if it was God's grace, but I was confident throughout the remainder of my pregnancy that she was going to be fine. If there was a time that I didn't feel her kicking as much, I would sit real still and will her to kick. I would pray that God would have her move so that I would feel peace. Luckily for me, Reegan was a very active baby! She kicked, rolled, and moved all over the place. There were very few moments where I wondered if this baby was going to be alright, I always felt a peace about it and knew she was going to be perfect.

I don't know why I feel the need to tell this story, especially when it leaves me feeling so vulnerable and thinking about how that first sonogram left me feeling so empty and like the most terrible person on the planet. I am obviously in a totally different place in my life now. I have heard stories of babies being born with 2-vessel cords that were not as lucky as our precious baby. Those that had to be transferred to other hospitals for extended care and I can't help but think how great God's mercy is and how thankful I am that he took care of Reegan when I was so helpless.

I am so thankful that Reegan is in my life and she is the perfect baby for Jason and I. In fact, when I think about having another baby (not seriously thinking about it, but thinking here or there when I see a tiny baby or find a really cute newborn onesie) how I would be completely happy having another baby girl and possibly being a mother to all girls. Wow, things have changed a lot in the last year!!!

Razorbacks and theater in the park!

We had an amazing weekend! We got to experience our first ever SEC game and our church had a fantastic outdoor service.

Our good friends from church, David and Rachel Rainwater, invited us to go with them down to Fayetteville, AR for the #10 Arkansas vs. #1 Alabama football game. We were really excited to go and this was probably the biggest game going on in college football over the weekend. The crowd was electric the entire time, the game was certainly exciting, and the food at the tailgate beforehand was outstanding! Unfortunately, Alabama pulled out a victory late in the fourth quarter, but we had a great time regardless.

We had great seats!

Some skydivers delivered the game ball - pretty cool.


The Rainwaters and us enjoying the tailgate - notice Jess even got to sport a cool Razorback sticker on her cheek!

There were rumors of many celebrities being at this game, however, Chris Allen was one of the few to actually truly be there. He led the crowd in a cheer during the game.

Our church had a very special service this past Sunday. They called it "Church in the Park" and it was one big service out at Theater in the Park in Lenexa. It was really because on a normal Sunday our church has to be divided into three separate services in order to accommodate everyone. This allowed the entire congregation to be together all at once!


Reegan seemed to enjoy the outdoors, however, she did prove to be a bit of a distraction for her parents...now we know why they normally offer childcare. Ha!



The weather was great too - a little cool, but mostly sunny. We really enjoyed it!

Surprise

Saturday night was a night full of surprise! My dad and aunt threw a surprise birthday party for my mom. It was great to have a house full of people and for BOTH my sisters to be in town. I am really disappointed with the lack of pictures I took, but here is one of the birthday girl blowing out her candle.
It was Hawaiian theme, so Reegan had to dress for the occasion. It is hard to see, but she is wearing a baby grass skirt as well! She was a trooper and did so good being up late and having everyone pass her around. I am so glad we have a baby that likes to be out and about as much as we do!
This was just a great picture, Reegan crashes at night and is totally limp when we carry her to bed in the evening...
Happy Fall everyone...this is absolutely my favorite time of the year and I can't wait for the weather to turn cooler and to start using my pumpkin candle and making pumpkin bread!!! We are also going to our first football game of the season this weekend, stay tuned and we'll tell you all about it!

7th month photo shoot

I had scheduled an appointment with our photographer friend, Lane, to take pictures of Reegan when she was 6th months old. Unfortunately, our first two appointments landed on days that Reegan was not in her finest state (snotty nose and red eyes), but we were finally able to get them done last Friday. Yes, yes we are aware that she is now 7 months old, but better late then never :) They turned out so cute, I say it all the time but, Reegan is so adorable!!! Check it out...

http://illustratedgrace.zenfolio.com

Update of Pictures

Life is really chaotic right now and it has been a struggle for me to keep my priorities in line. School is busier than ever and I know for the next 11 months, it is not going to get much better. I find myself thinking about Reegan while I am at school wondering what all I am missing out on while I am gone. I have to remind myself that moms leave their children all of the time and that if they can do it, I can do it. Somedays are easier than others, and I know that the time Reegan gets to spend with her grandma's is special on all ends. It does make my time at home with her more and more special. I look forward to feeding her dinner and playing with her. Jason is the main bath giver, but I like to sneak in and see her play! She is growing so much that the sink does not work at all anymore. Instead of using the whole bathtub, we have this cute duck that she sits in. Bathtime is still a favorite and now she can play with toys as well.





Reegan is starting to "try" to crawl. I am excited for that day, but I also dread that day. Babyproofing the house is not something I am excited for nor have I wrapped my head around yet. I layed Reegan on her playmat in her room while I got ready to take us on a walk. After changing my clothes, I peaked my head in and found Reegan more interested in the box to her duck bath than her playmat.



After putting my shoes on, I came back into the room to find Reegan no longer interested in the box, but now interested in the diaper holder. She has found that she can get where she wants to go by rolling, oh no.



We went to another Royal's game last weekend. Reegan has been to 3 in one season, not bad!!! We made it our mission this game to find slugger and take a picture with him. How hard could it be? Reegan started the game in a great mood (as usual), she was really interested in Jason's hat, so next summer we may have to get her her own.





During the 7th inning, we finally found Slugger from a far and ran off to get a picture. Of course, by this time it is past Reegan's bedtime and she was asleep. Oh well, a picture is a picture right?



No story for these pictures, just Reegan being Reegan. Her feet are her favorite toy right now.

Reegan has been best of buds with Bella since she was born, however, I think a couple of weeks ago she just realized that we also have Ginger (Ginger is a very independant dog, she is fairly low maintenance and just likes to sleep. Bella is the exact opposite, she wants to be wherever we are and wants SO much attention). Reegan was very excited and Ginger seemed interested in Reegan as well.

Our 100th Post!!

We wanted something extra cute for our 100th post and this video was exactly what we needed! We have lots of pictures of the cute girl, but no time to load them to the computer and post them here. We promise by Friday or Saturday to have them up! Until then, enjoy the sweet laugh and beautiful smile of Reegan.

Two sickies

With Reegan battling an ear infection, I find myself also on antibiotics. I left school early on Wednesday and missed the whole day yesterday, because after a Doctor's appointment on Thurs morning, I have strep throat. I tried my hardest to persuade Jason to stay home and take care of us, it almost worked, but reality set in and work was too important. We're both feeling much better and have big plans for the weekend, so lets hope we keep on the road to recovery (and that Jason doesn't get sick).